A long time ago now, the short of it is that instead of pulling the trigger, I put the gun down and smoked DMT.
I went somewhere. Hard to explain where, but it was more real than here. I remembered this life, but I also remembered an innumerable amount more. The time was different there. I don't remember many specifics but when I came back, I remembered that I want to be here on a level that transcends this life. That ending my life here would not be what I want on some other level that is more real than here. And that this lifetime is but a spark amidst an endless flame.
I was once a big proponent for people having DMT experiences but then I learned it works very differently for different people.
Now, I believe it is an acute intervention drug for the suicidal.
It behaved very differently for me in that context. Soon after repeated treatment with it, my entire state changed. I was lifted out of poverty into well compensated employment. I bought my first house. My software skills leveled up and I shifted from being fixated on game dev to more impactful fields. I can't describe the number of changes, but I attribute it all to DMT.
It flipped a switch in my mind and I know that I am alive today only because of that.
I hope that someday, we recognize it as what it was for me: a powerful spiritual medicine.
Something I always say to people who claim these things are all just hallucinations: if a hallucination teaches you how to be a better person, gives you a reason to live, and allows you to be more open and loving, was it really a hallucination? Something to think about.
I went somewhere. Hard to explain where, but it was more real than here. I remembered this life, but I also remembered an innumerable amount more. The time was different there. I don't remember many specifics but when I came back, I remembered that I want to be here on a level that transcends this life. That ending my life here would not be what I want on some other level that is more real than here. And that this lifetime is but a spark amidst an endless flame.