Late to this, but I wanted to wait till I was home and could type on a keyboard:
Overall, it feels like Aella, justifiably, wants to feel like she has passed a bunch of filters for a guy to consider her a high-qualified mate. This is both because she wants the ego boost of knowing she passed all those hurdles, and also because she's more likely to have relationship success with a guy who knows what he wants, has an established filter system, and decides she passes all of them.
The problem is, as you say, Aella is hot, intelligent, and driven as a partner. This means that basically a guy is going to find all of the boxes he's looking at for a first date checked. This is especially true if he's not an idiot and knows who Aella is and did even a casual Google about her first. This all kind of means that honestly, a first date is more about a guy auditioning for her to see if he's her type. Once he finds out that she's interested, that will be when he starts to get into the nitty gritty of "is this a woman who will work for me as a partner?"
Further bonus question, how do you even date someone with a strong online presence? Are you supposed to read their blog posts? Will they consider that creepy, or disrespectful of their time if you don't?
Let's do a technical interviewing analogy. It kinda feels like Aella is an experienced engineer who has written a well-known library. Basically the "interview" is an employer who already knows her qualifications trying to convince her to work for them. She feels offended that they aren't trying to see if she's a good fit for the position...but its immediately obvious she was at least a 90% fit and nobody needs to poke around for dealbreakers, any problems are the kind that are going to be teased out over time.
Yeah, exactly. Women want to feel chosen and special too. She may be misinterpreting them being so easy as them being willing to take anyone.
I do think she's right about some of them not being interested in getting to know her more deeply though. They don't need to be screening her to be able to learn how she fekt abkut some thing or more details that aren't already public.
(Honestly, I have no idea who she is myself or if she's even hot but I'll take your wiord for it.)
Overall, it feels like Aella, justifiably, wants to feel like she has passed a bunch of filters for a guy to consider her a high-qualified mate. This is both because she wants the ego boost of knowing she passed all those hurdles, and also because she's more likely to have relationship success with a guy who knows what he wants, has an established filter system, and decides she passes all of them.
The problem is, as you say, Aella is hot, intelligent, and driven as a partner. This means that basically a guy is going to find all of the boxes he's looking at for a first date checked. This is especially true if he's not an idiot and knows who Aella is and did even a casual Google about her first. This all kind of means that honestly, a first date is more about a guy auditioning for her to see if he's her type. Once he finds out that she's interested, that will be when he starts to get into the nitty gritty of "is this a woman who will work for me as a partner?"
Further bonus question, how do you even date someone with a strong online presence? Are you supposed to read their blog posts? Will they consider that creepy, or disrespectful of their time if you don't?
Let's do a technical interviewing analogy. It kinda feels like Aella is an experienced engineer who has written a well-known library. Basically the "interview" is an employer who already knows her qualifications trying to convince her to work for them. She feels offended that they aren't trying to see if she's a good fit for the position...but its immediately obvious she was at least a 90% fit and nobody needs to poke around for dealbreakers, any problems are the kind that are going to be teased out over time.