I think the hidden perk of being in a social group that automatically makes 99% of people consider you low status (in my case transgender), is that you stop caring about it quite fast and learn to embrace this status limbo. This allowed me to take on more risk and not care so much about the social consequences of not being employed for a while, or emigrating to a foreign country.
I grew up extremely poor, to the point of being homeless while in school.
And the one thing I can tell you for sure is I don't give a shit about status, and in many ways it's a super power in that I'm pretty fearless. Never do I worry too much about whether or not I'll have the same job in a year, but paradoxically, that attitude has also made me quite successful.
Are you sure you're not just rich? I think lots of us would happily "be unemployed for a while" without concern for the alleged "social consequences". But a lot of people can't afford to do that.
Most of the folks I've seen be unemployed for a while mostly don't have much for required expenses. No kids, no loans, etc.
You can make living very cheap if you don't have those. You do want to be unconcerned by the "social consequences" though. Like, go dumpster diving at grocery stores instead of shopping or eating out.
You probably also want to live in some sort of building, at least during Winter. Which is pretty much impossible to do frugally now, at least round here. I know people who live in vehicles etc, but it's a pretty challenging life, especially once you're older (and those people also work).
One doesn't have to be rich to be unemployed for a while, just have decent savings. I also don't think "social status" is the concern holding most people back from unemployment, but rather "the need for money to pay bills". You say many people "can't afford" to be unemployed, and that's true, but not because it costs too much social capital.
I think the issue you're zoning in on is that "not rich" is a loose definition. For some ppl it's "living in a small 1br apartment and not eating out", but for others it means "couchsurfing at goodwill of friends and stealing from chain supermarkets". One requires financial resources more than the other. How low someone is willing to go to be unemployed and low-status makes all the difference in processing the sentence, but it's left unsaid.
The ability to enter and exit "status limbo" is a sign of high status. Most people don't have the luxury of quitting their job to "explore something new".
One could obviously exit the limbo by just ending up lower status.
Imagine an actor or director who's very successful and high status. Then their subsequent work is less well received. They might have a period of "status limbo" while their cultural relevance and status are unclear. If they end up teaching improv in Chicago, they've arguably exited the limbo at a lower status than a star of Hollywood or Broadway.
Young people could also be in "status limbo" by for instance completing a prestigious degree but not yet securing a corresponding job. A 22 year old taking a year after graduating to study for the MCAT is in status limbo. If they score well and get accepted into a top med school - high status. If they don't get into med school, they're an unemployed 23 year old with a minimally useful BA.
"Status limbo" is the natural state of things, because there is nothing certain. If you think you aren't in status limbo, you're just mistaking the temporary conditions of your immediate environment for an assurance about your absolute worth as a person.
In reality, we're all bags of meat. Enjoy your material rewards, but don't take them to heart.
I love this idea of “status limbo”. After college, I found myself in a “limbo” of sorts. I had just graduated with a degree that was fairly unemployable, and didn’t have good enough grades to go to grad school in the same field. Feeling a bit dejected, I decided to poke around in a subject I was once good at in high school - math. I took several classes at the community college and even won a school math contest. During that time, I applied to grad school in biomedical engineering and was accepted to a couple of good schools, ultimately attending one of them.
I felt a true sense of despair during those first 6 months after undergrad though. It really felt like I had no clear prospects. Not the wildest story for sure but just my 2c
I'm not sure I'd call my poor grades "luck". With that undergrad degree, the only real options were Ph.D or med school. Staying in the field for just an M.S. made no sense. Whereas a master's in any engineering discipline goes very far
Biomedical engineering has been quite the hot ticket for a while in the Medical device industry. It is an interesting field. There is a lot of engineering going on, but the hierarchy is business.
Interesting article. I assume that literally no one REALLY cares about status. Credentials, degrees, accomplishments, titles impress no one. Maybe 1% of the people might think - "Oh that's cool!" at first, but then it wears off. Leverage (what can they do for me) and "good energy" (I feel my best around them) trump all of the "status" nonsense.
All humans care profoundly about prestige and status—the esteem of members of their peer group that they in turn hold in esteem.
What humans differ widely in is which status markers they hold as important.
You're right that leverage and energy are what really matter, but those can take a long time to discover correctly. Some people might do you a little favor now but turn out to generally be unreliable or not have much capacity to help over the long time. Someone might make you feel amazing right now, but it's because they are a charismatic charlatan and not an actual good person who will lift you up.
Status markers exist to be heralds of the long-term value that a person offers to their tribe. Good status markers are accurate predictors of those properties, and when we disagree about status markers, we're mostly disagreeing about how predictive we think they are and in what contexts they are reliable.
I never used Apps for that reason. I found more success increasing attraction face to face. When I started I "killed the sale" when I mentioned I owned a place , or they found out about my "high status" job. I went from "fun guy" to "serious guy" and it killed the vibe.
That's so true. I'm kinda boring, and happy as such, but dating when was in my early 20s was harder. Not impossible by any means, but it narrowed the group of women who were interested. But by the time I turned 30 it was a huge asset being boring, solidly employed, with a house, etc. I just had to wait for my time to come...
> Interesting article. I assume that literally no one REALLY cares about status. Credentials, degrees, accomplishments, titles impress no one.
I don't want to sound racist by naming specific examples, but certain cultures place a really high value on status.
In the case of America, things get complicated quickly[1] certain subcultures in America place a high value on status symbols, while others place less.
Then of course you have some sub-cultures that look down on anyone who doesn't have at least one piece of designer clothing, and another sub-culture (which may be higher status than the first!) that looks down on anyone who does wear gaudy designer brands!
[1] Of course every country has multiple sub-cultures, but some countries have traditionally been more homogenous than others, although that is also often quickly changing, making any sort of attempt at painting cultures with broad brushes less and less accurate.
I think people have thresholds for things like status. As an analogy, there is a widespread belief that income after a certain threshold doesn't contribute to overall happiness.
Very often you will hear people say "X doesn't matter!" on any number of subjects. Maybe it is height amongst males for dating. Or maybe it is income. Or maybe it is status. But what I believe is happening when people say such things is that the person saying that "X" doesn't matter is past whatever threshold is required for that aspect.
The other thing I consider is that these thresholds are actually percentiles across populations. To completely make up numbers for the sake of illustration, maybe 1% of people expect a status of "doctor" or "lawyer", 10% of people expect a status of "white collar professional", 40% of people expect a status of "gainfully employed", etc. The higher up the chain of percentiles you find your own status, the less you probably think status is important because you are noticing that once you are passed the threshold of a person they start to look for other aspects to differentiate you. Stated another way, if you have status that passes 90% of peoples thresholds, you probably think some other aspect of your character is the most important because you rarely, if ever, feel discriminated against because of your status.
This view suggests a strategy. Rather than going "all-in" on any particular aspect (e.g. seeking high-status primarily), one ought to consider all of the relevant aspects and their thresholds.
I think that broadly you're right that few people are going to be your friend solely because of your external achievements and/or status (and you really don't want to be close with anyone for whom that is the case). At the same time, while this certainly will vary person to person, I also think that it's naive to think that status has little effect. The influence of status often operates at an unconscious level so is difficult to pin down.
In the context of this article, I will say from experience that status limbo is a hard place to occupy for a long time. You often find yourself having to explain yourself when you aren't following the traditional path. It can feel alienating, particularly when you have resources that allow you to follow your inner calling that others do not. It also can be difficult to accept the ego hit that can be felt when moving from a space where you were a high achiever to one in which you are not. But also as the article says, there are many rewards if you can tolerate and persevere through the discomfort.
oh, some people definitely care about status. My friend's dad was disinvited to a family holiday because his son-in-law is a partner at a consulting firm and didn't want the blue-collar dad spoiling his reputation with his vacation home neighbors.
Be thankful you have been surrounded by people who don't so far.
"Status limbo" is an imaginary affliction affecting those who derive their self-worth primarily from external validation. This is a precarious disposition in general, since their self-worth is determined by the whims of external factors like employment, social media, and other information bubbles. Often it's not even external factors so much as the afflicted's perception of those external factors, which is even more precarious.
Notably, the author of this article never reflects on their definition of "status," and instead simply assumes that it's a self-evident marker that's categorizable as in "limbo" or (apparently) some stable equilibrium. If the author were to reorient their definition of "status" to a more inwardly determined metric, perhaps they would realize it could rarely ever be in "limbo" in the first place.
You hit a lot of great truths here, but "status limbo" can still affect those that are not looking for outward symbols or validation of "status".
Limbo implies a conflict of over/under, and someone may be having an internal conflict:
- Should I donate more?
- I like to drive a car that is comfortable, will people think of me different if I buy a sports car because I want to drive a nice car?
- Should I pay for this dinner for friends because I like them and I can afford to, does that change our relationship dynamic negatively? Am I stingy if I don't?
These things could be in service of outward validation, but even if they aren't, because they are actions that end up happening in the world others can see them, which affects status.
The equilibrium I posit is as such: There are three sides to a triangle:
- Who you are
- Who you think you are
- Who others think you are
When all of those things are aligned and you are in the "center" you've reached equilibrium.
> - I like to drive a car that is comfortable, will people think of me different if I buy a sports car because I want to drive a nice car?
That's why I explain to people that most people driving nice cars don't do it because they care about what others do think but precisely because they don't give the slightest fuck.
> Status limbo is a state of ambiguity and future uncertainty about your status, both in your estimation and as perceived by others.
But overall I agree that the article doesn't have a good foundation in defining status (or even caring about it). The article conflates social status and direction in life and career goals, which are actually all separate concepts (although usually interconnected).
Then again, this article is apparently written for entrepreneurs of high social status, so maybe I don't have the right to comment on it, as a non-entrepreneurial person of indistinct-to-low social status.
> Status limbo is a state of ambiguity and future uncertainty about your status, both in your estimation and as perceived by others … status limbo seems to be a universal human experience that we all have more than once in a lifetime.
Sure I’ve had that experience… in grade school. But as an adult? I can’t think of the last time I was concerned with the kind of status that the author is describing.
Uncertainty about my own status? In my own estimation? How could there be? I know me, I like me, I is what I is - what’s to be uncertain about?
Other people’s uncertainty? How? About what? Again, it’s been a long time since I’ve fretted about what others might secretly think of me.
And to tie all this into a job, of all things?
It’s just such an alien perspective, to hear an adult (I assume) worrying over such an… as you say, an ‘imaginary affliction.’ What kind of world must they be living in where such concerns would be legitimate?
This is completely tautological and therefore nonsensical.
Status is a pure social construct without any physical, objective markings.
What you imagine as "deriving my self worth from internal rather than external validation" is purely interiorizing the external validation - in effect, fixing the external validation into your psyche.
Of course, if your own opinion of yourself happens to be at odds with the other's appreciation of you, the mismatch will make your life worse. Nobody likes for long self-absorbed, egocentric people who never seem to "get" any hints.
