It's funny because it's true.

Edit: what do you suggest as a universal alternative for bit-perfect verbal communication... Spelling out Base64 Unicode over the phone?

> speak and hear the basic Latin alphabet.

The Latin alphabet does not have a single pronunciation. And the vowels are ambiguous across the most common languages so you can't even make an argument that they are intelligible.

You've really lost the plot on this one.

I'm only assuming the two people speaking on the phone share a common language, I think that's a fair assumption.

I instantly conjure up an image of a Roman citizen, a retired soldier now, speaking Vulgar Latin picking up the phone and dialling Comitia Centuriata to lodge a complaint about a unpaid engagement in Punic Wars.

The clerk answers in and speaks Classical Latin.