My wife's siblings are all musicians because that's the direction their mom drove, but nearly all of them now wish that they'd been allowed to pursue what they were truly interested in. If given a choice, only one of six would have chosen music as the primary thing in their life.
Seeing that, my feeling isn't so much that parents as the driving force doesn't work, it's that it's cruel. Our kids are not blank slates for us to write on, they have many predispositions and interests that we have only the smallest influence over. It is far more effective and more ethical for us to help them develop those interests in ways that will benefit them over the long haul than to try to teach them the things that interest us.
> Our kids are not blank slates for us to write on
So true. Hopefully we can give them (what we consider) good basic values. But we can't (and should try to) mold every aspect of their intests and personalities. And anyone who thinks that they can is in for a rude shock.
Seeing that, my feeling isn't so much that parents as the driving force doesn't work, it's that it's cruel. Our kids are not blank slates for us to write on, they have many predispositions and interests that we have only the smallest influence over. It is far more effective and more ethical for us to help them develop those interests in ways that will benefit them over the long haul than to try to teach them the things that interest us.