> You believe something is done wrong so you open it up with an accusation
Nowhere is this belief stated in the text. It's simply not what the words mean. It is being fabricated entirely in your mind. The only appropriate thing to infer from a question is that the asker wants to know the answer.
> I've been asked "why" so many times in an accusatory tone IRL that it's always going to put me on the defensive.
The onus is on you to cope with that. Don't transfer this burden to everyone you communicate with. It's unprofessional.
> If there's one thing I'm not going to rely on an AI for, it's for human tone.
Sentiment analysis is actually something LLMs excel at.
>Nowhere is this belief stated in the text. It's simply not what the words mean.
Why does one ask "why"? There's two primary reason: curiosity and accusation. And generally you're not too curious on what any single worker in day to day work is doing. You may not process it as an accusation, but it can come off that way.
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We seem to not being seeing eye to eye so no point continuing this conversation. Instead of pushing all the blame on me, consider other lenses and experiences and understand why they feel that way. I am very pragmatic and would like to simply assume a question is a question, but that's just not how 90% of questions work when a manager is DM'ing you in chat, or some lead pops into a code review to ask why you made this PR in their module.
Heck, consider this conversation. I give my experiences and you dismiss me and try to prove my experiences wrong with algorithms. Are you really surprised I act defensively when your first instinct is to say my experienced are wrong? Can you see why this may come off as insensitive and foster a hostile environment, an environment where no one cares about your opinions and pushes all blame on you?
Good thing I don't need to tolerate comments like this at work.
I’m with you on this. However, it’s going to take time for those who don’t understand this to understand this. You have to live through it I think. Once you have, you’ll see it immediately. If you haven’t, well, enjoy your direct tone deaf communication style.
Gonna take a lot of time apparently. So much gaslighting in these responses.
I guess I can see why we still have all those "tech is a hostile industry to women/minorities" stuff even in the 2020's. People legitimately think they can talk like Linus Torvald could back in the 90's.But at least Linus was talking to faceless volunteers he had little power over.
>The only appropriate thing to infer from a question is that the asker wants to know the answer.
Categorically incorrect.
Every question comes from either one of two places. Ignorance. Or Vindictiveness.
Let’s explore the latter.
You: driving home after having a great time at your companies happy hour. You finally got to discuss that project you wanted to work on and got a verbal green light.
Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
In this situation - if the question was indeed ignorance, you respond “going home from work”. You assume it’s ignorance because we genuinely want to believe people are good.
In this situation, the cop is not asking from a place of ignorance, but vindictiveness. He/she believed you broke the law, the next question will prove this…
Cop: “Have you been drinking?”
In my examples above (far far above), “have you thought about X?” Is ignorance. Do you see the difference?
Nowhere is this belief stated in the text. It's simply not what the words mean. It is being fabricated entirely in your mind. The only appropriate thing to infer from a question is that the asker wants to know the answer.
> I've been asked "why" so many times in an accusatory tone IRL that it's always going to put me on the defensive.
The onus is on you to cope with that. Don't transfer this burden to everyone you communicate with. It's unprofessional.
> If there's one thing I'm not going to rely on an AI for, it's for human tone.
Sentiment analysis is actually something LLMs excel at.