Ratio of men to women (age 25-45) to save you a click:
Seattle: 1.5
San Francisco: 1.2
New York: 1.0
Chicago: 1.0
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How those statistics correspond to anecdotal stories:
"First off, to say that this is not an apple to big apple comparison is an understatement - it's comparing an apple to a bushel of apples. Add in the east bay, and NYC is only about 8 times larger then SF.
So, even without the gender skew, there are just a lot more women in NYC, and a lot more types of women. NYC is far far far more diverse on every axis / scale. There are also a lot more men, but since the population is way less self selected and homogeneous then SF, being a tech guy who makes good money is a big plus, not just average."
I should have also added this is more true than average for Software Engineers.
Specifically, as a partner, you have to ask yourself what you are bringing to the table in a given relationship; if the answer to that is income/stability, it would make sense that a struggling artist will appreciate that more than a solid well to do professional with their own income. If the answer is crazy parties (or whatever other flavor of fun), you might have an easier time trying to find a partner who has stability and wants excitement in their life.
[citation needed]