If you’ve never been clinically depressed and suicidal I can understand how you feel that way. But depression is treatable, and suicidal thoughts are generally not rational nor “typical,” even for the person experiencing them. But they feel like ground truth at the moment. But with help that moment passes.
There are some that it never does, and I can see an argument there’s no point in letting them suffer forever. There are some that have rationally decided to end their life and they’re not feeling suicidal per se but are making a choice.
But the VAST majority of the time the suicidal intention passes, and their future self likely is glad if they got help.
Source: I’ve been depressed and suicidal. I am not now and I love life. But I remember clearly how differently I thought at that time.
My experiences as a person who has been suicidal, who has been close to suicidal people, and who has had friends who committed suicide all tell me that it's not as simple as "wanting to die". The same person can feel completely different about their continued viability as a living person within the same hour. The version of that person who wants to continue living is just as worthy of respect. And we can only reach out to and support the people who are still alive.
The most apt analogy (to my experience) is that in general, suicidal people don't want to die, but it's like they're trapped on the 20th story of a burning building and sometimes the fire seems to be under control but right now they're nearly overwhelmed with smoke and the heat is bearing down, and they're at a point where jumping seems like the best alternative.
And how relieved they could be if a fireman could put out the fire, or pluck them from that ledge to safety.
In the same analogy, there is still a time when jumping really is understandable; there are situations (Robin Williams comes to mind) when suicide really is a rational option.
It is a mental health issue, it is treatable, and it is preventable.
There is a lot of literature on the topic, and awareness is an important aspect to treating this mental health issue. I never got the sense people are shaming the person, or there is a lack of respect. Additionally, where "thoughts and prayers" will hardly provide any actual good (YMMV), a suicide hotline might be the saving element for someone who may also be suffering.
Had to finally make an account just to respond to a subsection of this comment.
>I wish people would stop treating suicide as a mental illness... like it’s somehow wrong and an intervention is needed.
>When someone wants to go, let them go.
There are circumstances where I would be inclined to agree, such as terminal illness. However, this generally doesn't match my understanding of mental health or suicide at all and might be exactly opposite. There is zero chance I would follow your guidance if someone came to me expressing suicidal thoughts and I really don't believe anyone should. I am not knowledgeable enough to defend that view so I hope someone with a deeper understanding of mental health can chime in.
You appear to be telling others to respect choices or beliefs, yet you don't seem to be respecting the choices or beliefs of others. Ironically, your comment also feels remarkably unempathetic to me.
> There’s not a single individual there who is all smiles and mentally balanced after taking those calls.
The same issue exists in the police, in front-line medical staff, and also psych services. I have gentle friends that seem to cope with some awful shit at their workplace, and obviously we all have to deal with it in our own lives. We unfortunately don't live in a world of ideal happiness (work or personal).
In New Zealand the suicide line is run mostly by volunteers, a selection bias for the caring and empathetic, so it is choice of the volunteers to help. Perhaps you are only considering the downsides, without balancing the ledger with the upsides?
Do you think that employing emotionally detached people would be an improvement?
I think you're wanting to honor him. I think there's a way to do that that also doesn't glamorize or encourage or increase the odds of future suicides. I found this post to be helpful:
>like it’s somehow wrong and an intervention is needed.
>When someone wants to go, let them go.
Strong disagree, especially in cases where they have family and loved ones. Children and grandchildren have a moral right to continue seeing and enjoying time with their parents and grandparents. Spouses have a moral right to continue enjoying life with their beloved best friend. Outside of family I would say there probably isn't a moral right, or at least a significantly diminished one, but suicide takes away the positive influence and presence that someone has on their friends and community.
The only part of your post that I do agree with is that we should stop euphemizing news about suicide. I had a friend from high school who committed suicide while serving in the army in Iraq, and the official press release from the military made no mention of his cause of death. He was in a non-combat role that wouldn't have put him in any danger of getting shot or blown up. It wasn't until a few years later when I ran into his sister that I found out the real reason (though I had my suspicions).
