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True. In fact we’ve made televised “I’m not the father” dancing into a national pastime.

The patriarchy mentality our norms are built upon includes blaming women for everything ‘wrong’. Women are blamed for premarital sex. Men are celebrated for their scores. Women are paid less yet have less leisure time. They are the first to blame if anything goes wrong with children, including just bringing them into public spaces. Men aren’t expected to be responsible parents, and usually aren’t primary caregivers. Women are the butt of jokes, and are constantly told they aren’t funny. Some men are actively campaigning to make women property again. Women are forced to give birth for anyone that inseminates them without exception in many jurisdictions now.

Not all women are sex workers, but the fact is that female sex workers (sex entrepreneurs?!) are generally disrespected by patriarchs and their women. That internalized distain comes out in a variety of ways, but quite materially as well (ie bank policy and regulations). Male sex workers are envied by other males. “I’d love that job”.



Do yourself a favor and read "Self-Made Man". It's obvious you're only seeing this from one side of the coin and lack the perspective of the other side in some kind of crusade.

Both sexes have their problems and the status quo causes stigmas for both. To claim women are uniquely seen as "lesser beings" in a developed world is horribly naïve.


Blarg. I read the summary of it, it’s going on my list thx. I grew up with a patriarch mentality and took it into my marriage and business. It’s just plain wrong, it’s effects are severe, and it’s been a long personal journey to relearn and reinterpret stuff.

I’m not on a crusade per se, but I guess I’m at a place where I’m now sharing aggregated angst I’ve heard from women and read about. Men absolutely have unmet needs, and much of that actually comes from patriarchal values.

https://www.nextgenmen.ca/blog/why-patriarchy-hurts-men-too

The phrase “I don’t see color” seems admirable but ultimately was determined by researchers to be one of the strongest indicators of racial bias. It’s a problem because it ignores or denies the struggles that minorities have and do face. It projects a meritocracy where there isn’t one. I’d love to live in a “post-racial” society, but we just don’t. In the same way, “I don’t see gender” or “it’s hard for everyone” is a polite way of lying to yourself and denying the harsh reality that women objectively experience.

I have stats and citations for everything I’ve posted here, but I’m lazy and on my phone. I hope you’ll find that most of my claims easily substantiated, not some naïve diatribe. Hit me up if something I said needs backup.


Re: the phrase I don't see colour. Do you have a reference or link for that research? That dovetails elegantly into something I'm dealing with right now.


I haven’t been able to find the paper where I saw colorblindness used as a measure, but I

Eduardo Bonilla-Silva Has written on the topic for many years. This is one of his more cited works: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/000276421558682...

And full text of a more recent article:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/233264922094102...

https://scholarworks.umass.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1...

I found this recent dissertation which cites the earlier papers I shared, and has some very specific insights into race and gender in engineering education, which seems relevant. https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/1698...

The Legitimation of Black Subordination: The Impact of Color-Blind Ideology on African American Education Dawn G. Williams and Roderic R. Land The Journal of Negro Education Vol. 75, No. 4 (Fall, 2006), pp. 579-588 (10 pages) Published By: Journal of Negro Education https://www.jstor.org/stable/40034659


Thank you so much. Lots of exceptionally interesting reading to dig into there.


>To claim women are uniquely seen as "lesser beings" in a developed world is horribly naïve.

Not really. The developed world barely raised a few generations since women can vote. This is not saying men don't have problems - but the field is still very often tilted against women.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexism


Both have their problems but acting like the problems are symmetrical is laughable.

How long ago were women in America able to apply for a mortgage?




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