Trying too hard is unattractive and unsuccessful. Many guys get spooked by someone who is on a short timeline to get married. They’re doing you the favor backing out early. This isn’t an accomplishment that one checks off like getting into the right school, or running a marathon.
Do things you like to do. Find your tribe. Be open to meeting people in that tribe as friends first.
You’re also in a bit of a demographic trap because men yourr age can date women from 25-50. Is your range that wide? If not, open your boundaries for what is considered acceptable (age, profession, already having kids, etc) if the interest and respect is there.
The age difference will become a huge problem when one partner is still active while the other is an elderly man. It’s fine for a few years but not great to build a family.
I think you're underestimating what healthy 60 year olds can do. Physical fitness is only required for kids under about 6. After that it's just a nice to have. A good friend of mine had a 60 year old dad and 30 something mum. By all accounts it was great. The only downside was that his dad died when my friend was in his early 20s. I've also got some friends where the mum is mid 40s and the dad is in his early 60s. You can see that the dad avoids unnecessary running, but he's loving it and they've got a great 3 year old. Originally I thought the dad was a granddad. The OP is right at the end of her window to have children, her best bet is to massively lower her standards, or find a man at the end of his window to have children.
You're right, but the bigger picture is that the OP is about to seriously consider using a sperm donor. A 60 year old man with good genes who will provide 10 years of active parenting and an inheritance for the kid is a lot better than a sperm donor who will provide nothing. As for looking after him in his old age; she should screen for 60 year old men who can fund their own old age care.
This is terrible advice. This means that she would likely be widowed before she is 60 and will either have to start dating again or be alone in her golden years. Also, it doesn’t matter how good his genes are because sperm quality degrades with age and can cause birth defects.
I think you're letting perfect be the enemy of good, which is how the OP got into this mess.
Obviously it's best to meet when the woman is 28 and the man is 32. Then have kids when she is 31-35. The OP didn't do this and is now a bit stuck.
The OP is no longer able to attract the men she used to so she has to find a compromise she can live with. Older men are an option, ugly men are an option broke men are an option. The men she wants are choosing women exactly like her, but 10-15 years younger
Probably she's going to pick the default which is no kids or use a sperm donor.
The problem isn’t that OP isn’t getting anyone around her age who is interested in her it’s that she is rejecting them. I’m not saying she gets perfection. she is out of time to look for a Disney romance and having a family, she gets one and just needs to settle on someone who is likely also settling for her.
I dunno. I’m about 40 and male. But I think a successful and attractive 41-year-old woman who wants kids would be insane to go with someone over 50. That’s just too old. Definitely wise to set a 50 year hard cap and aim for 41 or lower IMO.
Trying too hard is unattractive and unsuccessful. Many guys get spooked by someone who is on a short timeline to get married. They’re doing you the favor backing out early. This isn’t an accomplishment that one checks off like getting into the right school, or running a marathon.
Do things you like to do. Find your tribe. Be open to meeting people in that tribe as friends first.
You’re also in a bit of a demographic trap because men yourr age can date women from 25-50. Is your range that wide? If not, open your boundaries for what is considered acceptable (age, profession, already having kids, etc) if the interest and respect is there.
Good luck!