Sorry to hear that. Well.. I think workplaces with such mid-year reviews are often not good places to be. Such performance management systems can make individuals completely focused on their own performance grades instead of working together and helping each other. As result , happiness of everyone suffers, and everyone's performance, so it is IMHO not a sensible way to run a business. Some people game the system, some hurt other team members to make themself look better. Feels like a complete waste of time to me and makes for stress. As for being criticised for being too slow, well, maybe what should count is end result not sheer speed. But many businesses don't seem to understand that. Or you may genuinely be slow but that could be stress, its hard when you got young kids, in a better environment you could be more productive. The formula which has worked for me and I share all the time on HN is, learn skills that have strong long-term value e:g linux, command-line, python, ignore fads e:g js libraries, always go for open source if possible, not some vendor that could get bought out or change their strategy. Bottom line is , a happy life should be achievable in tech, we can take not necessarily the best-paying job, not necessarily the most kudos / status, but still have a decent satisfying job that pays enough to raise a family. I have achieved that, partly down to some "vigorous frugality" at times. ;) It's do-able but you have to research employers, talk to people who work different places, find out what its like, sometimes (non-fake) glassdoor reviews can be revealing too. And be prepared to leave jobs and take the plunge. It can be scary to take a risk when you've got kids. But sometimes has to be done. All the best :)