>Does high agreeableness necessarily translate into more empathy
I think the difference is that the personality trait called "agreeableness" doesn't mean someone is a pushover. But I do agree with you in general, my biggest gripe with pop psych as of late is the way "empathy" is used interchangeably with being nice.
Has a quiet person failed to empathize if there is no change in their outward behavior? I'd say obviously no. So I've been trying to work out why we talk about empathy when we mean being nice.
I think people talk about empathy rather than niceness because it makes it easier to admonish others. If I tell someone that they should be nicer, they likely already understand the situation as one where they could be nicer, and chose not too. Maybe they even chose not to be nice fully aware that it violated established social protocol. I am simply making a demand that they behave to my standards, and well adjusted people know that I am not their father no matter how serious I try to make myself sound. Or I can tell someone they lack empathy, accusing them of failing at a basic part of humanity. Depending on their internal thought process I'm more likely at extracting the behavior I want out of them through this manipulation. It's rudimentary bullying. Make an accusation someone doesn't want to be true, and treat any attempt to refute it as proof the accusation is true.
> I've been trying to work out why we talk about empathy when we mean being nice.
Somewhat many people aren't "good" at feeling empathy, and some brains are 100% incapable -- and maybe they cannot see any difference between empathy and faked niceness.
I think the difference is that the personality trait called "agreeableness" doesn't mean someone is a pushover. But I do agree with you in general, my biggest gripe with pop psych as of late is the way "empathy" is used interchangeably with being nice.
Has a quiet person failed to empathize if there is no change in their outward behavior? I'd say obviously no. So I've been trying to work out why we talk about empathy when we mean being nice.
I think people talk about empathy rather than niceness because it makes it easier to admonish others. If I tell someone that they should be nicer, they likely already understand the situation as one where they could be nicer, and chose not too. Maybe they even chose not to be nice fully aware that it violated established social protocol. I am simply making a demand that they behave to my standards, and well adjusted people know that I am not their father no matter how serious I try to make myself sound. Or I can tell someone they lack empathy, accusing them of failing at a basic part of humanity. Depending on their internal thought process I'm more likely at extracting the behavior I want out of them through this manipulation. It's rudimentary bullying. Make an accusation someone doesn't want to be true, and treat any attempt to refute it as proof the accusation is true.