>After spending years and millions of words and hours of video on this, we’ve had almost zero success. Why? Because you can’t reason people out of positions they didn’t reason themselves into. No one responds well to having their identity attacked. No argument made in bad faith—that the person on the other side is a moron or a dupe or a racist or a snowflake—is ever going to be received in good faith.
Unfortunately it seems that even compassionate arguments made in good faith are ineffective for most people. As the author states: "you can’t reason people out of positions they didn’t reason themselves into", and most people don't reason themselves into the positions they believe.
True, I've been trying to be polite and respectful and subtle at least in online conversations (I am far too emotional to do it effectively in real life, which is a big handicap). And I am not getting much results anyway.
But maybe the problem is also that we expect immediate satisfaction: we want the other person convinced there and then, in the course of one exchange. Probably we should accept the fact that without inciting polarization, and being open to being convinced as well as convincing, eventually we'll contribute in changing some opinions, or we'll change ours. It will take time and we won't be there to witness the "flip", the moment when the other suddenly starts seeing our point of view. Ideas don't change during a heated confrontation; they change at random times, sometimes when we're alone and maybe thinking about something else.
Unfortunately it seems that even compassionate arguments made in good faith are ineffective for most people. As the author states: "you can’t reason people out of positions they didn’t reason themselves into", and most people don't reason themselves into the positions they believe.