Having a baby will really flip this on its head. I used to "geek out" like my wife would say for a few hours on the weekend, sometimes an entire day, uninterrupted. This is all over now. I barely get 3 hours block at best, once or twice a week (rarely).
Thing is, there is hope, I can still get some really big things done. I realise now how much time was wasted in the past, clicking around the web, diverging. When you're on a deadline of productive time, focus goes up 300%.
Because you'll come to hate that feeling of being forced to stop as you were just getting into it.
I agree with everything you said, except perhaps this - every day is an early morning with young kids, and often I'm so tired that when I get the opportunity to work on side projects in the evenings, I just can't focus at all :(
had a similar realization not long ago. Health became frail (enough to impede my brain) and still I managed to learn new concepts, this gave me a new perspective on the ability to learn and reflect, even in low resources / high constraints.
being adult you really perceive the world differently, and "productive patience" becomes an important skill
if you're referring to a lack of productivity "focus" prior to having kids, sure. I recommend signing-off facebook/twitter/slack/discord/reddit/hackernews and only having them on your phone.
When you feel like geeking out on something, put the phone on airplane mode and put your IDE fullscreen. Focus should be a single goal 'e.g. rewrite that utility I did years ago in AIR and won't work on linux now because AIR is unsupported and I switched to linux because windows 10 screwed me with its forced updates while I was working' (real case ;)
Is there an option to arrange things with your wife so that you can geek out outdoors for a day (or couple hours) a week? Local workspace? Or even just a room in the house.
Thing is, there is hope, I can still get some really big things done. I realise now how much time was wasted in the past, clicking around the web, diverging. When you're on a deadline of productive time, focus goes up 300%.
Because you'll come to hate that feeling of being forced to stop as you were just getting into it.