I'd love if you could point the way then, because my pre baked AMIs that are EBS backed are always taking at least 3-5 minutes to be healthy and processing traffic or requests from the moment they're spun up.

This is not restricted to a specific instance type, nor a specific region.

There is literally no way you are performing compute in seconds from when an EC2 instance is instaniated.

I've bookmarked this to come back to benchmark this.