Hahaha thanks, this made me legitimately laugh out loud

Thank you! Expect an email in the next day or two. <3

Why is it for the best? Lonely feels right, even though by all objective measure I’m definitely not.

I have found myself as a new person with a new system of values and new interests and a great new outlook on life, yet the world around me has not yet shifted. It's my imperative to communicate my values with others and find others with common interests, and I either haven't done a good job of doing that, or my values and interests may be incompatible in general with others and society at large (or at least with my current social circle).

I value the existing people and relationships in my life, and that keeps me from changing too much and grounds me in reality and society, which is probably good for me and for society at large. I think that this sort of thing happens to everyone.

Maybe we strain against our harnesses and the web that we're in, and sometimes the web holds fast, or sometimes the network shifts and comes into new, better and more harmonious alignment.

It sounds like you’re describing loneliness, and objectively you mean aloneness. You can be lonely without being alone.

:(

I really don’t intend this as a brag, I promise. I’m also well aware that there are people struggling with much “worse” issues than me; I grew up with a lot of them, lost multiple friends to suicide, and so forth.

But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that depression and/or unhappiness does not care about your wealth.

Fair point, and very interesting. I did pick up fitness as a hobby, but maybe I need to double down on it… or play more ukulele.

Thanks for the advice.

Maybe a museum. Anything that resonates with you. You get to choose where to go from where you are.

Has it been helpful? Have you figured anything out?

Yeah, I got some hobbies. Reconnected with old friends. Starting working out and taking care of myself a lot better. I was way too emotionally tied up in my job when I was working for big corporations. I got kind of lucky cause I work with a good group of people and even when we're remote we interact all day long-I do wish we went into the office more though

Nice thing about contracting is the hiring process is a lot more streamlined, and there's no expectation you'll stay for years. So, when you're feeling better, you can move on to a regular job again

I am trying to take that step back, actually. I’d never really traveled, so I made that largely my focus this year. That was great.

I guess I’m referring to it from a work perspective; without moving to a different state/country (which is a possibility but my family is all here) I can’t retire where I’m at now given what I have. Moreover, I’m not even sure what “retirement” means; I feel like I’ll have the same feeling I have now, without knowing what drives me.

I guess I’m missing my “drive” or “mission” I once had; is that a thing you lose from youth? I’m 35, so not exactly old, but I’m not 22 anymore either.

34 here, got the same issue you have with the drive I had from my earlier years of an unprofitable project.

One thing I'm trying to do is keep up the consistency with searching for whatever fancies my interest, and let it come naturally as I dive down the rabbit hole on whatever topic I am interested in. Eventually I reach a point where I can see a path to setup something that requires substantial effort and commitment (usually a job or a project). So it's like an interest transforming into a mission and therefore leads to drive. Maybe that's the flow you need.