Two weeks before Christmas in the big recession I got laid off. Earlier in the year I had gotten divorced had just told my bosses how much I appreciated having the job to focus on because of the loss of my marriage. I was told they were bringing in an MSP who would charge half my salary and come in twice a day but the details didn’t really matter. I can see now in hindsight how you cope really just boils down to what kind of person you are and of course depends also on your financial situation. Mine was not good and so the stress of having to rely on unemployment, which I will say thank God for Massachusetts and for Obama (he extended unemployment financial help during the recession), which for me meant I got paid enough to pay rent and live for over a year and a half. I looked for work every day but I did what they recommend which is to spend time in the morning, sending out resumes working on LinkedIn, networking making calls and then I put it away. But the stress of it was enormous. For just a moment in the morning I would wake up and feel really good, rested, and then I would remember that I didn’t have a job and the fear would grip me for the rest of the day. I’m sure it took gears off my life. I try to help anyone who is in a similar situation not sure words can really help those of us who are more inclined to be worrywarts. There are people who don’t care who are unemotional about it and good for them, but for me, it was a very difficult time. I’m still scarred by it. I refuse to trust business. My friend says it’s PTSD, but really I think in those moments you have to be kind to yourself and do everything that they say helps in stressful situations; exercise stay away from alcohol travel yoga and actively try not to beat yourself up if you’re a sensitive kind of person. Anything that helps with endorphins consider working in a side field or part-time doing whatever you have to do to pay the bills. I was proud and wanted to stay in tech. I remember a few years ago finding a big amount of space taken up on one of my old hard drives. I found that the reason was hundreds and hundreds of PDFs of my resume that I had sent out. It does eventually get better. You do eventually find a much better position with good people better pay, but you have to believe that it will happen. You have to generate that goodwill and belief in the future. Best of luck to anyone looking.
At the end of the day, you and your manager are people. If you remove the roles you’re playing, they could be a friend. They’d want to know of their management was an issue. Can you help them understand their deficiencies in a constructive way despite the roles you’re in? Can you get past that? I often find I have more empathy and sometimes (a lot actually) more experience than my manager. I share corrective suggestions even if it means a script. At the end of the day either you both rise above you knuckle under and lump it, or you lateral or leave. I would attempt at least while looking inside and out. Good luck, best wishes.
Idk this take seems like a wildly one-sided approach in favor of the incompetent manager.
Where is their giving in? Where is their improving to the situation?
When I'm not performing, I get put on a PIP, if they are not performing, it suddenly becomes my job to help them save their ass?
Am I missing something? This advice sounds like something a terrible first level manager would gaslight their direct reports into believing in order to get a free ride.
Well, you aren't in a position where you can put them on a PIP. Someone else can (and maybe should), but you can't.
So what are you going to do? Are you going to just grit your teeth in a lousy situation? Are you going to leave? Or are you, first, going to try to do what you can to fix it?
Trying to fix it first is, IMHO, the right thing, for several reasons. It's right morally. You're trying to do good to the people around you. It's right in pragmatic terms, too, because it may work, and if it doesn't, you can still leave. And it's right just in "leave your options open" terms, because it adds one to the list of options.
> Are you going to leave? Or are you, first, going to try to do what you can to fix it
Oh I'm very much in favor of making a reasonable attempt to fix the situation.
Where we differ, I think, is what that reasonable approach is.
What parent suggests is akin to feeding your kids sweets to prevent them from throwing a tantrum. I'd go for
1) look for another position to cover for worst case
2) keep raising concerns in a professional way, but do as told, while documenting clearly who is responsible for the bad decision.
3) when speaking criticism about the manager to others, speak about the decision, not the person - let them figure out who's responsible by themselves. speak in terms the business people understand: retention rate, lost revenue, missed timelines, exploding budgets etc. - no bad manager ever got fired for "bad code" or "doing too much micromanaging"
> It's right morally. You're trying to do good to the people around you. It's right in pragmatic terms, too, because it may work, and if it doesn't, you can still leave.
Morals cannot prosper as a one way road though. "If you treat me as a resource, I'll treat you as a paycheck" is a proportionate response to this kind of situation. My higher-up is not at work to spread human values and love at the workplace, they are hired to make the business money. So am I. We both wouldn't be here but for the pay. They won't think twice to throw me under the bus if it helps them or the business. You talking about morals in the workplace seems like you never realized this circumstance.
tl;dr Imo the way to go in such a situation is either leave at the next opportunity or work to get rid of them (and be very careful not to endanger yourself in the process!)
No, I know they'll throw me under the bus at the drop of a hat. I'll leave them, too, for something better (which can also happen if they become worse). It's just that, while I'm there, I'll try to do what's good for the people around me, even if what they're doing isn't good for me. I'm still aware of what's going on, and I won't take it forever. But if I can fix the boss (or help his manager fix him, or help him fix himself), then sure, I'll try. I'll even try at some risk of my own job (because if it doesn't work, I was going to be out the door anyway).
The rest of what you said I agree with. That's about how I'd handle it.
Or 1930s Great Depression no work for almost five years tough?
I expect most people here won't have a good sense for 2009. While it wasn't great for many industries, for tech it was the "app" boom. You couldn't hardly go outside without someone throwing money at you.
I use the free pocket service with a browser extension to “save to pocket” which bookmarks with optional tags I can provide when I save. Also gives reader view on their site when I browse my saved list. Favorites archive feature article view highlights video aggregator. Can create collections too. It lets me save quickly which fits my workflow. Could I do the same with bookmarks? Not quite, I’m Mac at home pc and Mac at work so the saas feature fixes cross browser saving issue.
You seem like a resource for people in the US to possibly define ways electronics could be donated to help those you mention affected by high prices. Would be good to help those most worthy and needy.
