40+km, every day? Or even if total, it's a proper distance.
I'm fascinated by that. Do you just walk around randomly or do you plan things you want to see ?
Walking is imo one of the big "secret" ways to get to know a city. I fondly recall just getting lost on purpose in major cities, and at the end of the day take a taxi, or bus, or tuk-tuk back to the place I was staying. So many things seen, and tried, and random people encountered from all walks of life, it's one of the best things.
Yeah I was doing a challenge of walking entirely across the city, from Woolwich to Heathrow. I think I made it to about Chiswick before my phone died and it was too dark to keep recording on my GoPro. So maybe 30-35k or so that day, and another 20k or so the day before and after just exploring the city more informally.
Agreed that walking is the best way to see a city, for sure. I have done similar one day walks across Brooklyn, Manhattan, etc. and always really enjoy the experience. Usually I have a kind of set goal, like “walk entirely across X place.” I think in Istanbul though I mostly just wandered for 100km (over the course of a week.)
This past summer I walked about 124km around Paris over 5-6 days, going in a spiral through all the arrondissements. That was a great way to discover some new neighborhoods.
I completely agree, it's fantastic both for general fitness, and as a way of exploring. I do this on a smaller scale on a daily basis, walking the 8-10 km route to or from my work (when we have office days). This is walkable in about 1.5 hours, public transport would get me home in around 45 minutes, so I am not really investing much extra time. Varying the route slightly keeps things interesting, and you get a surprising variety with small (1 to 2 street) changes.
Another favourite of mine is cycling around a neighbourhood to get to know it; you get a totally different feel for things than from a car - things typically go by slower, and you are somehow just far more able to observe things.
I am quite a bit older than you, so my perspective is probably a bit different, but I have learned that friendships come from shared situations and experiences. You're not going to get it from books unfortunately, and the "methods" described in some books might come across as less genuine.
First of all, have realistic expectations. You might not find that _one_ friend easily that can fulfill all your needs in one package, but you can become part of friend groups. Individual connections might grow from that.
To get there:
1. Ensure you are in a place where things are happening, e.g. a larger town or city. This just gives you more options, but even small towns have things happening.
2. Become part of social hobbies, where people frequently meet at an organized time and place. e.g. team sports, local theater groups, book club, makerspace, cooking courses, etc...., whatever you have an interest in. Pick more than one if you can. Live firmly in the real world and not online.
3. Show up and keep showing up, you need to become a familiar face to people. One-off gatherings aren't great for this, but work with what you've got.
4. Participate. Are they looking for volunteers for event X, participate. Do they need someone to help do Y, participate. People are getting together to do race Z, participate. Someone needs an hour help moving some stuff, show up. No need to overdo it, just be there and be seen as a reliable part of the group.
5. Be patient.
Especially participate in new things or initiatives, the groups are less firmly set in stone and it's easier to become part of something. Plus by participating you'll learn of other things happening in the community.
If you "don't like anything", work with what's available and pick the things that are most OK. Part of liking things is doing them. If you're in a tiny village where they only play soccer once a week, well guess what, you're going to learn to play soccer now. The activity is the excuse to be around people.
If small talk bores you but small talk is what's on offer, have small talk. Life is not a stream of "big moments", the mundane is the glue.
Do not expect anything. Keep any ego firmly in check. Go with the flow and be relaxed, whatever happens happens. People can smell neediness.
The collective West will continue its negative momentum. People will continue to seek easy solutions to hard challenges and vote accordingly, making things worse. We'll see further fragmentation of the post-WW2 international order. China does not interrupt while others are making mistakes.
The US stock market will see a correction (and possibly a crash) due to it being generally overvalued, LLM advances unproven for most enterprise contexts, and premature investment in infrastructure. Other stock markets will be dragged down because everything is correlated these days.
Building software continues being commoditized, putting downward pressure on salaries. Software quality diminishes due to prioritizing speed and using LLM output.
Billionaires continue taking control of media companies and continuing using them to influence public thought and discourse. Big budget media production companies show no signs of newfound creativity or risk taking and continues producing remakes, sequels and prequels within existing franchises.
Many people have further diminishing mental health due to a severe value crisis and lack of human connection.
The neurological, cardiovascular and long-term consequences of repeated SARS-CoV-2 infections become better known and understood. But nothing is done to prevent further damage.
Walking is imo one of the big "secret" ways to get to know a city. I fondly recall just getting lost on purpose in major cities, and at the end of the day take a taxi, or bus, or tuk-tuk back to the place I was staying. So many things seen, and tried, and random people encountered from all walks of life, it's one of the best things.