I suggest to read Fermat's Enigma: The Epic Quest to Solve the World's Greatest Mathematical Problem (Simon Singh) https://www.amazon.com/Fermats-Enigma-Greatest-Mathematical-... to fall in love with math ;)

Sorry to hear that, but you are not the first nor the last one. See Don’t build your castle in other people’s kingdoms https://howtomarketagame.com/2021/11/01/dont-build-your-cast...