If you really think the UX of email is the same as the UX of a web-based forge, I'm not sure what to tell you.
You may prefer email over the latter, but I think these days you're in the minority. Your level of derision at this fact doesn't really change anything.
Pipe might work better than pulse but it's still an overcomplicated mess compared to ALSA, which is itself an overcomplicated mess compared to OSS, which could have been easily made to support concurrent clients to /dev/dsp without all the API breakages and flaky deamons we had to suffer through.
It was the default on Gentoo long before Pulseaudio was the default anywhere. If other distros messed up their config I cannot say but the fixing that would have been a lot easier than moving to an entirely different system with an incompatible application interface.
Much worse than that in Germany - they literally had rules for gathering with your family with complex charts to determine with you you are allowed to meet (with single adults living on their own getting the worst of it). Utter insanity, all of it.
But that wasn't hip enough so everyone moved to GitHub.
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